my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
