so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
