I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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