Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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