He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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