If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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