I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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