I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
