then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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