'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
