Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Houston, we have a blender
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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