Quick, to the slutcave!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
