so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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