enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
