New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hope mine doesn't look like that
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
