Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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