dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
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HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I need a burrito and a hug.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
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You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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