If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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