there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
3pm strippers are depressing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
