You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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