And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....