OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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