So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.