am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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