so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
