Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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