One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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