I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
