I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
