I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
