He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
