Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
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I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
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They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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