This girl is more easily done than said...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
