I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
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You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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