in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
