Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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