Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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