i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
