i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
