We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
