YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Randomize
