Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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