Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
