i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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