It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
