I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
