I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
