Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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