i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
