winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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