therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I skipped work to stalk him.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
