I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
