Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
