Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
