So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
