If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
