So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
