Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
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