Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
