Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think your dad took our porno
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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