I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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