doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize